My legs still ache from last time.

Feeling good. Had a bit of a rocky day at work. Had a staff change that I wasn't quite ready for. Now I am kind of wearing two hats. Going to start tomorrow out with a workout. Hit the ground running... both figuratively and literally. Over all I am pretty pumped about how things are going. I have not been knocking everything out of the park the way I wish I was, but I have felt like the silly mistakes that kind of grind me down after awhile have been kind of not happening so much. Pretty good stuff.

I worked out on Tuesday. When I go tomorrow that will be two times in the same week since about a month. I decided that it helps me set myself up for a successful day. I also anticipate reaping the long term results of regular exercise and a moderately healthy diet... as in maybe less hamburgers. I weighed in at 240 today. Kind of bummed me out a little. Its not like I think that I am huge or anything but I still haven't managed to shed my baby weight. It took me until about my wife's third trimester to realize that I did not need to eat a full meal every time she did. We would go to a burrito joint a couple times a day and I would always order my favorite and take it to the house. I should have just been ordering chips and salsa or something.

Clover is pretty awesome. She is growing up that is for sure. Last night Kristin and I had the "I think it is about time for a toddler bed" conversation. If she is old enough to talk, she is old enough to be out of the crib. Some of the stuff I see her do kind of blows my mind. She just has to do everything Kristin and I do. In the morning when I get ready, she needs some hair gel, and to brush her teeth and after shave and everything that I do. It kind of cracks me up. I love her guts.

Here's to everything. Cheers.

-p

After dinner.

"Any good excuse to go to the Cheesecake factory is a good excuse to go to the Cheesecake Factory."
-eg

I read my own blog last night.

Hooray for Monday. Monday is usually the second day in my weekend. Yep. Sunday, then Monday. Not today. I went in to work today. It was a little weird. I kept thinking it was Tuesday. I stayed up pretty late last night. I couldn't sleep. It made it a little tougher to be at work today. As a result, I chose to drink some good ol' Dr. Pepper before the lunch rush. It was weird.

Let me back up a little bit.

My daily routine has changed a little bit since last march. I used to would have one or two cups of coffee in the morning, then take a cup to work to nurse through the lunch rush. I wold then have some sort of energy drink around 3 or so to get me through the rest of the day without blowing up on somebody. I did this for at least since I my early days at Zupas... over a year ago or so. Anyway, I started to get migraines that I could not get rid of. They would last for a couple days. They would get so bad sometimes that I would start to see stuff like little tracers or flashing lights or things like that. Last March I was having a pretty bad episode. I though I had a brain tumor or something. My assistant actually sent me home. I went to the doctor and got a shot. She said no more caffeine and my headaches would go away. I said okay and that was that. No more caffeine.

I think that up until today I have had maybe six gulps of Pepsi and three gulps of Dr. Pepper. Not today. I was tired and decided to go nuts. I drank a whole cup. It gave me the jitters. It made lunch run well, but I couldn't hold still. I was talking really fast and kind of mumbling. I totally crashed right before dinner service. It was horrible. I was kind of grumpy all night and I think I actually snapped at a few of my worker bees and all could think about was my headache and how I just wanted to drink more DP.

I found out that it is all or nothing with something else in my life. Kind of annoying. Anyway. No more caffeine for me. Ever. Stupid. Maybe I should just take next Monday off for reals instead of just scheduling it off but going in because I get a wake up call from my Assistant about how things are blowing up around her.

Hooray for Monday!

Clover painted my toenails... by herself.

So I have only made it to the gym once since the last report. I need to be a little more vigilant about that.

The other day at work one of my regular customers made a comment about how it looked like I was having a little too much fun at work. I explained to him that I believe that if I can't enjoy what I do then I shouldn't be doing it. He kinda thought about for second and replied: “So is this like a hobby for you then?” I laughed and said maybe. That night I went to my parents house because they were hosting a weeding reception for one of my cousins. After manning the refreshment table for the night, I realized that it is kind of a hobby for me. It made me laugh. Maybe if I can take that mentality to work next week it will be a great one.

Clover is growing up way to quickly. The other day when I was leaving for work she said “Bye daddy.” I think it was her first sentence ever. It stopped me dead in my tracks and I had to go back an give her another good bye kiss. She will not let me do anything for her any more. She wont use her sippy cup at meals if we have grown up cups on the table. Sometimes she climbs on the table, takes my spoon or fork and start to feed me. I think it is cute. Every day she blows my mind with how much she is growing. Maybe one day I should just do a post of pictures and videos that make of her. I t all happens so fast that I forget everything I am thinking about writing down.

Life is good. I am pretty pumped about how things are turning out around here. I do feel a kind of grown up. I have spent a lot of time over the last weeks kind of just reminiscing about things past and how far I have come since I even started writing the idiotbook. And then beyond? Oh man. Who would have thought.

-p

Am I meathead?

I woke up at 5:15 to go to the gym this morning. I didn't go right away. I laid in bed for about half an hour debating on how bad I really wanted to go. I went. Pretty pumped that I did. I usually just run and bike a bit. Today I ran a little bit, but realized that I didn't want to run that much. So I stretched, and then decided push some weight for the first time since I was at Grossmont. I found out how much I cannot push anymore. I gassed out my arms way faster that I thought I should. It was a nice wake up call. Got me kind of excited about going back tomorrow and the day after and maybe not on Sunday, but yes, the day after, etc. Yep. I always forget how good I feel after a productive workout. I think If I write it down I will remember a little better and be more likely to no wait so long to get back in action.

Anyway... time to get ready for work.

Check ya later.

-p

It never gets any easier.

In my interview for my current job, the question was asked: “What is your least favorite part of your job?”

“Holding those under me accountable. I don't like to be the bad guy, but it part of my job to make sure the rules are followed. I wish that I could always make everybody do the right things for the right reasons, but it doesn't always work out that way.”

I still feel the same. I have always kind of tired to think of myself not as the guy who fires people, but the guy who let people know that they quit by speaking with actions, and on some cases words. Does that make sense?

Anyway, it has never gotten any easier. I always feel like a little part of me dies when I have to let somebody go. Yep. I think it will always bum me out.

Clover likes to skate. It's cute.

Wow. What a fierce couple of months. It is late and I think I am just going to put a couple of bullets to kind of play catchup for the last time spent under the radar. Maybe this will be like the list of stuff to write about when I have nothing to write about. Who knows.

• Kristin and I bought our first house ever. We are now residents of West Jordan, Utah. Pretty cool.

• I still work for Cafe Zupas. I celebrated my one year anniversary with them on March first.

• I celebrated my 5 year wedding anniversary on April 23^rd.

• We bought a house instead of went on a trip.

• Clover got cuter.

• Mason went to live with Mark. He seems to be doing very well. I am excited for him.

• We moved to West Jordan.

• I work a lot.

• I kind of want to buy a motorcycle again now that it is warm outside.

• I mowed my very own lawn for the first time ever.

• I made it a point to go meet the neighbors. They all seem pretty cool.

• I bought a smart phone. It is pretty smart.

• I worked out... two times.

• I almost died... both times.

• I went to the chiropractor... many times.

• It no longer hurts to sit or stand, and I have different things for breakfast other than alka seltzer.

• I am a fan of chiropractors.

• Life is good.

• We quit house shopping... after we bought a house.

Yep. Pretty good stuff.

One of my goals for the next pretty much forever I guess is that now that I have my own space, I should really make it a point to develop some of my hobbies. I think I am going to ask for a welder for fathers day. Should be pretty sweet.

I think that I am also committing to myself to write more vigilantly. Yep. You heard it here first.

Yep. Hope its great. Feels great. Guess I just need to keep it up. Yep.

-p

We also sold the motorcycle.

Sometimes I just lose the urge to write... months at at time. Like I want to write, and I know I should write, but I just don't.

The other day I started reading a book written by my mothers cousin again. It is called “Ride to the Wall.” I like it. I first read it in electronic version not to long after I started writing myself. Anyway, I was reading and decided that I better start writing again.

It is before work on a Saturday morning. Clover is awake and eating apple slices and frosted mini-wheat in her chair next to me. Mason is still asleep. I think Kristin is making pancakes. Yum.

So what is going on?

Clover is growing right up. She is now just over 15 months old. She refuses to let us feed her, she will only eat if she can feed herself. It is fun to watch, but a little sad at the same time. She is picking and choosing more and more of the activities that we can share together as her independence grows. She also know how to make everybody around her laugh. She is a real treat and blessing in my life. I still find myself looking at her when I am talking to my wife at times. I just can't get over how sweet I think she is.

Mason is growing right up as well. He is becoming more expressive and independent when he chooses to be. He enjoys hanging out with Kelton. He is still a pretty big fan of McQueen. He has been spending more time with his birth mother as well as some other significant figures in his life before us.

Kristin is still being the most supportive awesomest wife on the planet ever. She runs our house very skillfully, and I am constantly in awe of how she manages to do it. I always thought that I was a pretty patient guy, but then I get home and see her calm as a lake before dawn when I would be ripping my hair out and gluing children to the floor. I like that she still lets me think that I am in charge though.

We have been shopping for a house over the last month or so. Yeah, that is primarily what I have been doing instead writing, looking at real estate listings. Boooooring. It is vaguely familiar to what it was like in San Diego except for a few minor changes... We are in a position to look for a house... with a yard and garage as opposed to a condo... with out a few things that we would like. Our real estate agent is not a jerk. All in all we are enjoying the experience.

Moving out has its drawbacks as well. It will be kind of a bummer to not be able to walk around the back of my house in my poncho and slippers to my neighbor's house and ask what they are having for breakfast or lunch or dinner and ask if I can stay.

Work is going swimmingly. I have become better at walking out the door when I am scheduled to. I am still excited about every new day and the opportunity that they bring with them. The Utah Crime Lab is in close proximity to my store so some times they come through my line and I get little pangs in my heart about how cool it would be to have their job. Then I look down the line at the people I have working for me and get excited again. My store has yet to set a new record that we can't break again in a week. I have a new assistant as of last week. My bosses asked of they could trade for my other one as here expertise were need else where. It was one of those moments when I was happy and sad at the same time like when Clover doesn't let me feed her anymore. I was bummed to see her go when we were meshing so well as a team, but I was proud that of all the assistant managers in the universe, they asked for mine to help make things happen somewhere else as well. I am excited about my new Assistant as well. We are still learning to get to know each others styles and what not, but I think that we are going to a killer team as well.

That is pretty much it. Things are going well. I remembered how easy it is to write. Life is good.

-p

I know why I pass on sushi night.

I don't like sushi. I just don't. It doesn't gross me out, I have tried it on many occasions... I feel like it has made me sick on my occasions as well... I have tried it raw, tempura style, veggie, with the ginger, with the wasabi, at the ocean, in a casino, during happy hour in Utah, everything. I just don't like it.

When I was younger I was able to have a list of two items on it that I did not have to eat for dinner. I am pretty sure mine was fish and spanish rice. This was a plan my mother implemented to make it so that all seven of her children would have to eat what was fixed for dinner unless what was fixed was on our list. If that was the case, then we could have a sandwich.

Anyway, I figured it out after taking my wife to get some sushi tonight. We ordered four or five different rolls, a seared spicy tuna salad, and a sprite. It wasn't until the end of the meal that I figured out how I felt about it. Kristin saved the last piece of a roll for me because it was my favorite out of all of them and I told her to eat it. She was like “But it was your favorite.”

“You're right... go ahead and eat it while I try to explain.”... long pause...

I feel like right here I should explain how I feel about rice: I pretty much only eat it to get full or because my mom made me. It is like ice cream or cake. They just help stretch out the good stuff, hot fudge and icing or filling. I will take my hot fudge sundae hold the ice cream please. When I make stir fry at home I do not make rice to go with it, I just eat my favorite part, the stir fry. If I do eat rice, I typically add it very sparingly, and eat it last, after I have finished all the good part of my meal and may not be full.

Fish... don't like it. Tuna, okay sometimes when I am in a mood, from the can and with dill pickles. Salmon, no thanks. Not smoked, grilled, broiled or 'cued have I managed to work up the desire for a second helping. Halibut, cod, mahi mahi, tilapia, trout, bass, shark, calamari, no thanks... just don't like it. Sometimes I do crave fish and chips, but I think that those cravings come when my mercury level is a bit low.

Back to the story... ...long pause...

I have realized that to me, sushi is just a rice dish that tastes like fish. Two things that I rarely eat on purpose. It is just not good to me. I don't hate it. I don't think it is bad for other people to enjoy. I don't get why people love it, but I never got why people would ruin salsa by putting mangoes in it either.

I finally put my finger on how I felt about it tonight. I am pretty pleased about it. I understand that I don't like sushi, I know why, and I am okay with it.

Sorry Anthony, I am never going to fall in love with sushi. The romanticism behind eating fishy rice rolled up in salty yuck is forever lost on me. Teppanyaki, okay, I'm down. Sushi, no thanks man.

-p

Smiley bear.

Not even exactly sure what to write about. Just kind of sitting here... up late again... kind of surfing the web, kind of imagining how totally awesome this year is going to be and also mulling over the day in my head.

My comedy routine is up to two and a half jokes. Well, more like two jokes and and idea for joke but trying to see how I can make the idea make sense to a larger audience than the one that provoked the thought. I think that the funniest part of my mission to put together a comedy routine was when I was polishing a bit using my brother, unbeknownst to him, as the audience, and I was like “I am pretty sure girls invented carpooling.”

“No. Poor people invented the car pool. It was a necessity.”

“Right. Makes sense.”

That's what I get for not prepping him a bit. I am pretty sure he is so used to hearing idiotic stuff coming out of my mouth that he didn't even have to think before doing his duty as my brother and limiting my public idiocy.

I went to church today. It was nice. Talked a little bit about the baptism of Jesus. Talked a little bit about agency. There was some definite food for thought after my meetings. I never realized that some people feel like the idea of church cannot exist in a world alongside the idea of choice. As in that was the one exception. It was pretty interesting. Like I said, food for thought.

I am going to turn 29 this year. Should be cool I guess. Hope I don't have a melt down around my birthday. I guess that is pretty common around this age. I am at kind of a high risk of birthday meltdowns for the next three years or so. Any tips or tricks to avoid melting down would be nice, and welcomed.

Going to have my fifth wedding anniversary this year. Cool. I wonder if we are going to be able to go on a date on our anniversary or celebrate sometime around the week of. What am I supposed to buy Kristin for this one? Can't remember. China or a 2x4 or something like that? Can't remember. Maybe she will surprise me again by being like “Hey! I'm pregnant! Happy anniversary!”

I want to go to Alaska. It would be cool if I could make it happen this summer. I still think about when I went to New York a couple years back. I want to go back there too. That would be cool I if could make them both happen this year. Prolly not gonna happen, but it would be cool none the less.

Nope. Anniversary falls on a Saturday. Most likely going to be at work.

-p

good morning 2001. glad you made it.

Mason on a snow day contemplating the next sled run.

Clover enjoying her favorite food ever. bananas.

I feel like I need to at least acknowledge that it has been more than just a while since I have updated the book. Over a month has come and gone. Oh man. What a month it has been.

I think I want to start with what happened when I walked in the door after work tonight.

When I walked into my house tonight there was a little girl named Clover in my kitchen. When she saw me she screamed and grinned so big that her pacifier almost fell out. It melted my heart. She then proceeded to book it over to me flapping her arms with excitement so she looked kind of like she was trying to shoo a cat or birds away while squealing and running smiling and making me smile like an idiot because she likes me better than her rhinoceros blanket and was happy that I was home.

I like Clover. I miss her when I am at work too.

Work. Where to start. It has been a real learning experience. Do you remember the first time you drove a clutch? You saw whoever you were learning from do it and was like, oh it will be easy, I got this, then ended up killing the car on the first try. Then laying a patch on the second try. Then maybe killing it again a couple times before managing to get a smooth start, but killing it a the next stop because you forgot to put the clutch back in? I am not sure if that is exactly how it went for me, but I wanted to paint a clear picture for my analogy. The manager I served under as an assistant made it look easy. I mean seriously. I felt like I was going to come out of the gate ready to totally knock it out of the park. Not the case. I mean to tie it back to the clutch analogy, I killed the car a few times, I got it moving, and now I feel pretty confident in my role so long as I don't kill when I am trying to turn left on a green light... especially with people waiting behind me. I am getting the hang of my store and my crew. I am getting more comfortable in my role. I still get heartburn when I know that my district mentor will be spending a few days at my store. That is why I am posting this right now. It is about one o'clock in the morning. I woke up with Clover at about midnight and started thinking about tomorrow, and couldn't go back to sleep. I guess that I just wish things would come together a little faster for me. That is kind of what I get for being such a perfectionist. I know that although I am doing very well with my new store, I know it is not perfect... yet. I also know that although I feel like I seldom make the same mistake twice, I somehow manage to keep finding new ones to make. For example, scheduling an afternoon of interviews when my boss is going to be at my store trying to teach me something new... tomorrow. I know that if I did not make any mistakes, I would not be learning anything, and I should be grateful for every opportunity to get better. I just would like some time to kind of let the car idle for a minute before trying to put it into gear again after killing it... know what I mean?

Anyway, all in all the move and transition to a new store and new position has been good. I am growing everyday. Zupas Valley Fair is pretty busy location. It has been kind of fun to see regulars from my other store come out to the new place. It has been fun to see the crazy amount of potential this store has. It has been kind of daunting to visualize that potential as a reality. I am excited to see what the future holds.

Enough about work.

Kristin is holding it steady at home. She has been a total rock for me over that last month as I have been working longer hours than either of us expected trying to get things rolling smoothly at my work. She is a pro at keeping me looking fresh with clean clothes for work and a clean house and well behaved children when I get home. We are really enjoying having both Sunday and Monday off together. We managed to watch the whole Bones season 5 over the weekend a couple weeks ago. We have also just had fun hanging out and laughing a lot together. I love her guts and enjoy her presence in my life.

Mason is doing his thing. What is his thing? Wearing big boy underwear and going potty in the toilet like Kelton and dad (in that order). He also loves making huge messes, lots of noise and giving snuggles.

Clover is growing right up. She has started signing. She walks or runs everywhere. She only crawls if... she doesn't crawl anymore. She likes to check and make sure that Kristin and I are sill alive a few times every night by yelling at us until we are awake. Precious as ever.

I am a little bummed out because of the ratio of work/ family content on this post. It is an accurate reflection of how life has been over the last couple months. I feel like I am mostly just checking in with my children over the weekends and some evening if manage to get home before they are in bed. Same with my wife. We talk on the phone the whole way home from work because that is when we have managed to get some of our best hang out time over that last few weeks. I love my family. I miss them more than I think I should... not because I think I like them too much, but because I feel like I should be able to spend more time with them on my new schedule. I do know that when I do get a solid handle on work I should be able to spend more time at home. It has just been a wild.

Thanks for being patient. Thanks for being supportive. Thanks for everything.

-p