Clover in a box.

Okay... update.

Did you know that as of right now, there are only eight Cafe Zupas Managers in the whole universe? Yeah. I know. I thought the same thing... What does that have to do with anything? Well, guess what! I am one of them. In your face mediocrity.

Yeah, somebody has been promoted for doing two things, their genuine best and being themselves (is that the right word, or would it be “themself?”... not sure). I am pretty pumped. I seriously have a hard time expressing the excitement that has been blossoming inside of me for the last couple weeks. I wonder if it will be okay if I tell the story. I guess my store manager won't mind. Oh man I am so funny.

Maybe I will just stick to the highlights... I can get a little long winded with my story telling.

One night a couple of the brass came in and asked if I had a minute. Sure. The interview for the job I didn't ever officially apply for consisted of two questions.

Question number one: What do you like about your job here at Zupas?

Answer: As cheesy as it may sound, everything. Seriously. I like everything about my job. If I could buy stock I would. (in a nutshell)

Question number 2: Would you be willing to accept a GM position at our new Valley Fair store?

Answer: Seriously? Heck yes! Seriously? Of course. Heck yes! I would love this opportunity.

End interview. Yeah I know right? I mean I think there was a little bit of conversation after that, but I get a little fuzzy with the details. That's pretty much it. I want ed to share.. have not been up to writing a whole lot lately... maybe ill get over it... the writers block... happy Friday!

-p

Much to be thankful for.

Clover is growing more teeth.

Mason is growing more accustomed to using the toilet.

Kristin is growing more hot.

I am growing more old, it seems.

Sometimes its all just so fast.

I haven't really been up to writing lately. Work has been super busy and I have been battling with a sinus infection that makes me want to smash my hand with a hammer just to see if there is anything that can get my full attention.

Work has been busy. We are opening a new store the in the beginning of December and so we are training people like crazy at my store. It is definitely a stretch to train those people on top of the people we are training for our own store on top of keeping those who are already trained still learning and challenging themselves on top of focusing on the task at hand in spite of the constant daydreams about all of the new potential opportunities that are inherent to any growing company. However, in spite of how busy work manages to keep me, I still really enjoy it. It has been a real treat to see how much I have managed to grow as a manager and a person over the last months. I feel like this job provides something that my last one did not. It is real nice to be in an environment that inspires growth for .those who desire to grow as opposed to those who are buddies with those who are in charge.

Home has been nice. Mason is still teaching me all about everything that I never knew. I think that that is the other side of the growth coin. I have been learning so much about myself and how I respond and how I can change and how I function through the new life this guy brought with him. I am not sure if either of us was really ready for it, but I am sure that both of us are adapting swimmingly. Clover is still doing her thing. I woke up early this morning and so did she. We hung out and had breakfast together before any one else woke up. It was a real treat for me. We sat on the kitchen floor eating crackers and cereal. I wanted to take a picture of it, but it wasn't the image that I wanted to save, it was the feeling and the moment.

Maybe I should take pictures anyway... so that when I see them I don't forget about the moments. I never really thought about that before... I guess that I have never really been one for pictures. I don't know if I never really understood them or what... like I will take a picture and not download it. I cannot count on as many hands that are in house right now the number of rolls of film or disposable cameras that I have filled up and just thrown away. I mean, I share pictures... but I don't really look at them myself. Maybe I should put more thought and effort into my visual documentation of life for myself as much as others... yeah I think I will do that. You would think that after as many hours as I have spent learning how to photograph and document evidence that I would have just brought it over into my personal life without thinking about it. I guess that I have always just thought of documenting to share with others, not to keep to myself.

Soooooo.

Yep.

This is an old picture. I just downloaded the SD card a couple weeks ago. I found it after I wrote the post. Maybe I will move it to the bottom. yeah I think I am going to do that. One of the pictures and moments that I was talking about. I like it.

To Mason about Mason.

The first time I met you was while I was living in San Diego. I was on vacation, visiting my parents house, and it was Family Night. You were there with your mother and grandmother. You were between one and two. You would run around screaming and I did not know how to handle it. You had long hair, dirty hands and a sticky face. I didn't really know much about you.

Fast forward a couple of years. I moved to Salt Lake. Kristin is watching a couple of your cousins as well as Clover during the day. We get word from your Grandma that things in her life are changing, and she needs to find you a daycare. Kristin volunteers. It was supposed to be short term, while an arrangement was worked out between your aunts and uncles and mother for a more permanent home. It was kind of funny because I knew before Kristin volunteered that you were going to be a part of my life. I knew that I was going to be more involved in your life that I could really understand at the moment. As time went on, and I was able to be in your space while you spent time at our house it started to dawn on me. I don't think I understood with my head as well as I understood with my heart. You were part of my family. Not just my cousin's child, but my family. The one living in the four walls around my bed. I could see the relationship developing between you and Kristin. We would get occasional updates from your grandmother about what was going on, but not very often, or very informative. It was pretty cloudy for awhile.

I kind of think that the reason it took Kristin about a month to say something is because she was raised a little differently than I was. In spite of how she felt, she did not want to step on anybodies toes or stir things up. I didn't say anything because I wanted to find out what Kristin's heart was telling her without her knowing what I was looking to hear. Anyway, one day Kristin asked me what I thought about bringing you into our home. We had an opportunity to be the rock that I was so thankful for while I was kid... even more so in retrospect. She said she loved you as if you were her child and I knew that it was true. I kind of felt that was the plan all along, and expressed my thoughts. I told Kristin to call your grandmother and explain how she felt. I told Kristin to pour her heart out. She did. Your grandma listened. She talked to your mother. Your mother said that that was the best idea she had heard. We were excited.

After about a month or so of kind of planning and talking and kind of letting it mull over in a few heads and doing research and trying to figure out how things were going to go, we got a green light. We were filing for guardianship. You are going to be in our care.

I am as excited as I am scared. I know that this is the right place for you to be. I feel just as inadequate as I did when Clover was born. I am afraid that I won't be there for you when you need me. I am afraid that one day I may say or do something that you will hold against me. I am afraid that you may not want to learn the lessons I would like to teach you. I know that I will always do my best. I know that you will always know that I love you. I know that I am here to be a person you can look up to. It is my sincere hope that twenty years down the road you can appreciate me and my example for you the same way I appreciate my fathers. I know that ultimately all I want for you is to have a chance at being yourself and being happy and being able to handle the day to day garbage that life may shovel your way... among many other things... I don't think that I have enough space to finish this sentence.

Last Wednesday we went to court. The judge looked at us and asked Kristin who she was, then asked me who I was. I was holding you in my arms. You were looking over at your mother and Grandmother and waving and giving thumbs up the whole time. The judge said: “Everything looks in order, is there anybody who has any objections?... nope?... okay then. Let me sign this, and then take it downstairs to the clerk. They will finish it up there.” We went downstairs and got a few copies. I put one in my wallet. I am now your guardian. Wow.

The day before we went to court I was going to get your bed with your uncle Kam. You introduced me to him as your dad. I didn't really know how to take it. It still didn't quite seem real. Tonight about a week after court I was playing the guitar for you and Clover. You said “Can I have turn Dad? I want to play the Spider man song.” I almost had to stop and be like “Did anybody else hear that? Seriously? Anybody?”

I guess this is it. Ready or not. I now have a three year old. Welcome home Mason. Glad you are here. Hope you like it.

Love,

Dad.

Bloody toes before the sun is up.

"GRRRRAAAHHHHH!!!! I am so sick of kicking toys." -kb

Clover did something for the first time ever today.

My little baby is growing up. 'nuff said.

I am glad it didn't wake the baby.

This conversation happened about 10 minutes after we turned out the lights and went to bed.
It was just so funny I wanted to share.
“Hahaha SNORT”
“Whats so funny Kristin?”
“What?”
“You just laughed so hard you snorted, what's so funny? Did you think of a joke?”
“Yeah, but I was half asleep, so I forgot it.”
“What?”
“I was dreaming about the joke, and it was really funny, then I realized that I was a sleep and it was just a joke, so I woke up... Doesn't that happen to you sometimes?”
“No.”
“Huh. Well it was funny... I just forgot. Good night.”

Mason and a guitar. Good stuff.

This is one of those times when I should be asleep but am not.
It has kind of been one of those weeks when I just want to give up and let the world run me over. Maybe it has just been one of those days, and I am seeing the week in retrospect through the lens of today. I don't feel like I did my job very well at work today. I feel like it has to do with something unrelated though. You know when somebody blows up about something trivial and you know there is something else going on? I think that was my day today, but it more like blew up in my face I guess. I just couldn't really handle the little things that I usually don't even think twice about because they are so insignificant. All well. My next day will be a better day.
One day I was talking to my brother Jake about how he manages to keep up all his projects at the same time and he explained that there would be nights that I would not be able to sleep after Clover was born... I would just kind of be awake thinking about the world and worrying about crap. Tonight is one of those nights.
This is going to be a post about Mason. I would like to preface it with a statement that will help to clear up the in between the lines feelings I am hoping are expressed through this post.
Mason. I consider him my son. I call him my son. I feel like he is a son of mine, and as such, I love, treat, and care for him like... my son.
Having Mason join my family in a more intimate sense has been an adjustment to say the least. Although I would rather not go to court to be able to provide for him with the best of my abilities, it is something that must be done. The date is set for Wednesday morning. Two days away. I am not sure about how much I should share, I am kind of a compulsive bean spiller. I guess I will do my best to just keep it to the highlights. My cousin is a single mother who has been blessed with Mason at a time in her life when she is still kind of unsure who she is, and where she herself stands in this place called life. She is currently working her way through school. She is also on a huge personal quest to kind of figure out how to live within the boundaries of her priorities as opposed to her priorities being to cross boundaries. One of her newer priorities is to be able to provide a safe, solid, and positive environment in which to raise her child. In the past, she has relied on her mother to kind of help make ends meet as far as care for Mason. Her mother has encountered some circumstances in her own life that are not very conducive to being able to take care of both her own child as well as Mason. Kristin was already watching Mason a few days a week, and fell in love with the little guy. We offered to assist our cousin on her journey, and turn Kristin's care of Mason into a more full time thing. The plan is for Mason to be with us while his mother is working to kind of get things a little more evened out. We do not yet have a time line. I guess this is why the whole court thing is going to be really hard for everybody involved. My cousin in every way loves her child to death. There is no doubt in my mind about that. I feel like I am breaking her heart by asking her to sign her rights of guardianship over to Kristin and I. I also feel like this is a necessary step in order to be able to take the care of Mason out of the equation and give her a smaller field of focus as far getting herself in order. The way I explained it to her was along the lines of:
“Do you ever just look around and take in everything and get intimidated or scared or flustered to the point where you do nothing and everything gets worse? I like to refer to this as a full plate. Well, let us take Mason off your plate for now, and let you address the rest of the plate. We are not stealing Mason, we are not going to hide him from you, you can visit anytime you want, you can even sleep over here in his room with him if at some point you feel like this would be a better place to spend the night. (Mason spends a couple nights a week at his mothers house) When you get things in order, he will be here, happy, healthy and still very much a part of your life, and he will be here... period. We will take care of everything on the Mason end so you can focus on you.” She agreed.
I guess that is the hard part. Knowing that we are taking this little guy in already looking forward to a day when he will move out. It really bums me out. The idea of the extreme range of bittersweet we are setting ourselves up for kind of makes me a little sick to my stomach.
I guess this is the message I would like my cousin to get regarding out date on Wednesday. As tough as this may be, I want you to know that I am rooting for you. I am here for Mason. I am here to support my family... my wife, my children, and all of those who I can assist. I don't want this to crush you. I don't want this to make you feel like a failure. As much as I may feel other wise, I don't want to keep your child forever. I would like to be in his life forever, but I also feel very strongly that nobody can provide care for a child with the same capacity as their mother, and as such, I feel like he belongs with his mother. Please, please, please, work through this. We are here for you, but we need you to do your thing too.
I hope I kept enough beans to myself. I just needed to kind of let a few out...
I was getting gassy...
Not really, but I was getting a little grumpy and unable to perform my basic daily functions as I feel like I ought to... like sleep. It's 3 Am. Goodnight.
-p

I will get grounded when she sees this.

Tonight is one of those nights when I wish that my day off had a snooze button. I am not ready for it to be over. I would like to just eke a couple more hours out of it. It has been a nice day.
I have been kind of just killing time lately... not really doing anything productive. I started playing a campaign on my stupid video game, and much like when I pick up a book, I just want to get it over with. Not because I don't enjoy it, but because I do not like to leave a job undone. That is what I have spent my free time doing over the last week...s. It has dawned on me that although it has been quite easy lately, it is not my goal to ignore the idiotbook. So...
Tonight I went on a date with my wife. It kind of fit the MO of our dates when we first started dating.
-“Mo?” (pronounced like moe, with a long “o”
-“M O”
-“Mo? What? What is your Mo?”
The next paragraph was spoken like a hick... I have realized that I have changed from talking with a lisp to talking like a cowboy when I am making a funny.
-“Not “mo” dummy. MO is an acronym. It is like how SCUBA isn't really a word, the letters in the word stand for their own words. SCUBA is an abbreviation of Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus that should make sense to most people. MO is short for modus operandi, it's latin. It means method of operation... as in how we do things around here, but with fewer syllables. Get it straight.”
Actual conversation from work the other day. I kind of wish I could figure out a way to put in my stand up routine. Man... jokes are hard sometimes. I guess that if everything that was kind of funny in real life was easy to put into a joke, everybody would be a stand up comic.
Back to the date.
We got a babysitter for Clover, and dropped Mason off with his mother so that we didn't have to worry about children at all. We dropped Clover off first, then went down town to drop Mason off. For our date, we went to walk around Ikea for a little bit. We sat down to eat some cake and fries. After that we started to kind of peruse a few things... then realized that we only had about five minutes until we said we would pick Clover up. Due to horrible driving conditions, we had been at Ikea only about 20 minutes total. We literally ran through the store, laughing... and kind of making fart noises... the whole way because it was all fun and games on our totally hot but only about a half an hour kid free date. When we got to our babysitters house, her older sister had just arrived home, and was still in the driveway. She asked why we were here so early, and we explained that it was a school night so we didn't feel comfortable making her little sister work past eight o'clock. Older sister got mad and explained that she raced home from class so that she could have an hour or so to play with Clover and promptly kicked us out of her driveway. We drove around for a bit, got a couple snacks and some gas at a random gas station, then walked around a grocery store for a little bit. While walking up to the porch to pick Clover up for the second time, we started laughing at how totally lame our date would look from the outside. We had fun. That was our MO. When we started dating, we were both broke. We would go random places and do random things, and eat at the gas stations along the way when we had to put gas in the car, which was every date because we were never limited on time. We would quite literally drive all night if we were in the mood. We would always laugh... a lot. I like spending time with my wife. I think that we have fun together. It was very nice to be able to ignore everything except the wild fun time I have driving around in the car with my wife.
The kind of funny thing about it all was that it wasn't really meant to be a date at first. It was meant to be a break from the four children that were more like pills than children today. It just kind of turned into a date because it was way shorter than a vacation, even thought it was totally as much fun as any vacation I have ever been on. It was nice. It was another time to put in the bucket of things that remind me that it is not really where I go or what I do that brings me joy, but the person I have decided to spend my life with.
Don't get me wrong, I love my family... I value the friends that I have... there is just only one person on this planet that is my wife. Just sayin'.
A snooze button would be nice... not quite ready for bed yet.

Wet, Cold, and up by 40.

"I think that football should only last for one half, not two." -kb
about 2 minutes into the fourth quarter of the Utah vs CSU game.

it made ashtyn laugh pretty hard.

"I wasn't yawning, I was just smiling... like a shark." -pjb

Good-bye Quiet Mornings, Hello McQueen.

I am one of those people that likes to just sit in the morning. I am kind of a slow waker upper. Most who have slept in the same house as I can attest to my bear like sleeping habits. It has not changed with age. I mean, When I need to get up and go, I will, but I won't quite be awake. At work, when I am the first one there because it is so early, I will leave the lights off, just to kind of give myself time to adjust to the coming day. Yep. I like to sit on my seat for a while... I like my coffee a little on the cold side. I don't mind it if my breakfast isn't piping hot. I just take a little time to kind of soak it all in before I worry about that stuff.
So, one of the changes along with bringing Mason into our family is mornings. For the time being Clover has been pretty cooperative with the idea of just kind of sitting in the morning. Mason... not on board. For the last two days I have been a race track, starting line, finish line, cliff to fall off and pit stop while sitting on my chair in the morning. I have been quizzed on the identities of Mack, King, Queen, and Doc Huds'. I have been urged to participate with the engine revving and fantastic cliff dives or wrecks... I am not sure which is happening, I just know that you have to scream at what seems the top of your lungs on the way down... off my knee and on to the floor. I am a little bummed out because I know that something has got to change as far as my mornings are concerned. Lets walk through it. Morning time? Nope, still going to happen at the same time every day whether I want it to or not. Definitely not changing. Coffee or breakfast time? Nope. Cannot have either of these until AFTER I wake up. My sitting chair's location? Maybe... no. I like to be a part of the family in spite of my attitude early in the mornings. One of the things I like doing while sitting is kind of watching my family do their morning things. Maybe I am gathering inspiration for my own morning while watching them go about theirs. Nope, not moving the chair. Mason? Lol. No. How am I going to be able to tell this precious happy boy not to play or enjoy life when that is a message that is going to be forced down his throat for the rest of his life from way to many other sources. No, that is not the message I want to send any of my children. I hope I never do send that message whether I am trying to or not. Me? Sounds like the best idea. I think of all the factors going into my morning, I am the one I have the most control over as well as the one that can effect the most positive results. Yep. I guess that's it. The time has come in my life when I need to wake up ready to race the Piston Cup.
Maybe I will start waking up earlier as my first change... mmmm... maybe not... not yet. I think I will try racing first.

Yeah, this happy.

Wow, what a week. Lets start with the light and get more serious howabout.
-I got sick. I have been blowing snot out of my nose since Saturday. I am finally recovering. I think that by the time I get up for work next Monday, I should be able to say that I am all better.
-My best shift lead on the planet ever was promoted. Saturday was her last day. Her replacement showed up to work just in time to quit on Monday.
-Kristin's mom and grandparents are coming up on Friday. They will be staying until next Monday. I took Saturday off. It should be a pretty fun weekend. Drives up the canyon and barbecues. Heck yes.
-The headlights don't work on m car sometimes, so I drive home from work with my brights on occasionally. I am not sure what I will say if I get pulled over for it. I don't know why sometimes the headlights work and sometimes they don't. It is pretty weird. Never had a problem like this one before.
-My family grew by one over the weekend. Kristin and I are filing for guardianship of one of the children my wife watches occasionally. He moved in with us last Saturday. I am still not quite sure how to explain how I feel about it. It all happened so suddenly. Typically there is a nine month long period before a child is born that you can use to wrap your mind around the idea of becoming a parent. Not in this case. It is like Kristin got pregnant, had the kid, and he grew up to almost 3 years (I think) all over the weekend. I am pretty pumped for sure. I guess I really took for granted all of the times I spent pondering about how I would be a good father to Clover before I had actually had the pleasure of seeing her sweet face. Maybe I will apply most of the same principles, but in a slightly different way, because Mason is not a daughter, but a son. Hmm. Anyway. It has been real nice to have him around. I know that Kristin and I had planned on adopting and fostering when we were a bit more established and what not, but this feels like the right place and the right time for everything. It has been interesting, the mix of flack and support we have been getting from every direction whether it be unsolicited or not. I guess that I am just excited that both Masons mother and the big guy upstairs feel like I am the man to be this child's father for now.
-Maybe back to the lighter stuff I guess.
-Clover is still one of cutest things ever. She likes to walk around while holding on to my fingers. It cracks me up when she does because she is like running and grinning and running, but with her arms up above her head and her little baby potbelly leading the way. Just try it. It looks funny when adults do it too... at least that is what I think judging by the reaction of some of my line servers when I was showing them how funny I thought it as the other night. Here... I will give instructions... just print these out or explain them to someone else, and have them follow the instructions while you watch. It will be wild. Then imagine a little baby doing it. That is what I watch for my cartoons every day before work.
-instructions:
Where to start... get into character. Imagine the most absolutely goofy, over the top “I am so happy I might drool because my smile is so big,” happy face you can imagine. Got it? Okay. Put it on. Wear that face. Okay, now put your arms up above your head... not straight, but kind bent at the elbows... kind of like you are imagining riding a motorcycle with ape hanger handlebars. Now start running... not very fast, but kind of like you are just learning how to and you might trip over your own feet on every step. Maybe even kind of limp run if it is easier to do. If you are doing this from the end of a long hall with a mirror at the other end then you know what I am talking about. If you are doing this because somebody gave these instructions to follow, look at the look on their face, and think about giving the instructions back to them and telling them its their turn to show you how funny it is... then do it.
-p

One of those times when I should have been dead.

My brother found this movie link *movie link*
and posted it onto facebook with the question: “Pete, what does this feel like?”
I started to post a reply and it got a little wordy and I knew where it was going to go... here.
The story starts back when I was a wee eighteen years old. I had purchased a couple of old arm chairs for my room, which was at the time really big. Now let me explain what I mean by old arm chairs. Something kind of like *this* but different. They were left over form the 70's. They were striped and burnt orange and velvet and as tacky as you can get and twelve dollars for the pair. As my father and I were driving home, we were at a stop light and somebody pulled up next to us to let us know that something flew out of the back of our truck and landed in the road a little ways back. We turned around and sure enough, there it was. The arm cover for one of the chairs. My dad pulled over and I jumped out... can you see where this is going? Anyway, I looked both ways, and didn't see a car. I guess this is where I describe the road. It was on 9000 South, just East of 1300 West... right where it comes out of the river bottom. The speed limit here was 45 MPH at the time. The road had two lanes going either way, and a suicide? lane in the middle. (I don't know the technical term for this lane) The arm chair cover was in in the very middle of the very middle lane. So... there were no cars coming. I ran out into the road, picked up the arm cover, and turned around without looking, and started walking or jogging... not really hurrying in any way, I am not sure why, back to the truck. I can't remember what I was looking at while I was coming back... I think I was inspecting the cover for damage. I was abruptly brought out my train of thought when I heard my dad yell “PETE!” I looked to my right and jumped at the same time. POW! It hit me. A turquoise Saturn. I remember looking at the face of the lady driving the car and seeing the look of absolute terror in her eyes as I held out both of my arms to brace the impact I was about to have with the windshield. I watched the glass crack in spiderwebs out from my hands and then remember rolling over the car, but only getting half way, and then rolling back over the hood, then onto the ground and thinking about how I felt like I could see angels manipulating my body while I was in the air (between the hood of the car and the ground) so that I would land in such a way that I would just roll for a little bit and be okay as opposed to landing flat on my face and being not okay. This is where I answer the question posed by Jake: I got up and it felt like... you know when you get pinched... *sidenote* I think it is funny that you asked this Jake, because when describing what it feels like, I always picture the closet door in your old room for some reason... *end note* in a closet door and it feels like it is bleeding, but it hasn't broken the skin and it almost kind of burns a little? That is what it felt like. I am sure I was in shock, but I seriously thought that all I did was pinch my side somehow. I got up and tried to walk it off. After a couple circles, and the pain was still there I decided to check it out. I lifted up my shirt and I could see a huge flap of something hanging down to my side and my hip bone at the bottom of the hole created by the something hanging. I thought I was going to die. In my state of shock, I thought I had punctured my chest cavity and I though that my lungs were going to collapse. I saw stars, and that is the closest I have ever been to fainting at the sight of one of my own injuries. It turned out that I had caught my hip on the edge created from pushing in the wind shield and the roof of the car. That is why did not go over the car, because my hip caught and flung me back the other way. It was a deep cut, all the way to the bone, and it felt like a pinch from a closet door. I had hit the car so hard that when my arms hit the roof at some point during the experience, they hit hard enough to pull the paint off roof. I had turquoise tear drops on both of my fore arms. It was pretty interesting.. in retrospect. When my mom showed up to the scene, she asked if I was okay. I told here I was, and asked about the arm cover. She said forget the cover, it is just a cheap thing. I said “I just got hit by car for that cover, if I don't have that, then this was all for nothing.” She got so mad that she left and told my dad to call her with any updates.
I think that is about it. About 200 stitches and 3 hours later I was walking on my own.

Clover is learning how to play guitar.

Thing are going well. It has dawned on me that although I have been pretty posty lately, I have not been very newsy.
I have organized the news into six different sections, kind of like a newspaper. So here is a table of contents. I hope this update is adequate.
-Clover
-Kristin
-Work
-Writing
-Stuff
-Wrap up

Clover bear my little princess.
Clover is growing to say the least. We are going in to the doctors office next Tuesday for her nine month checkup. That means that her cells have been dividing for over 18 months now. Oh man, that is a long time. She has 6 brand spanking new teeth, bringing the total up to... six. I can see two more that will probably pop out in the next couple weeks or so. *side note: I wonder if the reason that time seems to go faster when you get older is because when you are two years old, one year is literally half of your life. When you are fifty years old, one year is like the equivalent of two pennies to the dollar... not that much time... if your life time tuned into a dollar I mean. end note.* Clover loves hanging out with her cousin Penelope, eating solid food, grapes especially, crawling around, pulling thing out of things, blowing raspberries, eating raspberries, and pretty much tons of stuff that it was hard to imagine her even being able to comprehend, let alone do, just a couple of months ago.

Kristin is my busy little queen bee.
She is currently in the process of becoming a certified child care provider. She somehow manages to clean the house and pack my lunch and do the dishes and prepare breakfast and watch four kids and stay beautiful every single day. Well... not every single day... She only watches one child over the weekend... but everything else, all day every day. She has really embraced the mountains and the weather associated with a move to Utah. This fall she has canned a copious amount of salsa and peaches and everything she can manage to get at a farmers market. She sold our T.V. About 2 months ago, and has not turned back. It has been awesome to see what sort of thing she has going on now instead of staying current on whats on. Not to say that she was a couch potato, because she by no means ever has been. She just does different things now to kill time... like sewing a new outfit for Clover or canning peaches or going for a walk or something like that.

Work... is called work because I get paid to be there.
I truly enjoy my job. I truly enjoy having the bosses that I have. I feel like I have grown as a person over the last six months (wow it has only been that long really) in ways that I could not have in a different situation. Wow. That was really deep captain obvious. I guess that I really appreciate the lessons that I learn for and through work are easily applicable to my life in general. I feel like I am a better manager both at work and at life than I was a year ago. I am excited to see what is in store for me over the next few years with this company, because I know that it will be nothing but great. Sometimes I miss what I refer to as my “past life” or “where I came from,” (I use these terms to reference habits of policy and whatnot that I have been taught and how I apply them to my new job) but never really enough to even think about wanting to go back.

Writing is something that I choose to go to bed instead of to do sometimes.
I wrote down my two jokes. I have written a few little lyrics, but nothing that I could really put down... except part of a verse a version of a song that I listened to a lot as a kid, and would like to pay tribute to through my own style... and just haven't finished writing it yet... yep nothing really ready to put down yet. Unity by OPIV. Anyway. I also would like to note that my contributions to the idiotbook have increased by 250% since May. That is quantifiable, measurable (kind of redundant?) progress. Yesssss. (feel free to join me in my drawer pull during the yesssss part.)

Stuff that is about stuff... that is on my mind?
I feel like I should mention that when I put three dots... I am actually thinking, and I feel like of those who have talked to me in real life have noticed that I tend to pause sometimes... especially when I am thinking. I leave the dots in because I feel like it helps keep the book a little more conversational and less technical... and kind of because I feel like they belong. I am sure that most, if not all, of my English teachers would object and have me edit it so that I don't do three dots like a hundred times in each paragraph... but this neither their book or an assignment. I know that my wife gets kind of grumpy sometimes when we are talking and I pause to think. I wonder if I do it because at work I am the one who is trained to act quickly, and since I have to always be thinking and flying by the seat of my pants as part of my job, I choose to take my time over pretty much everything I can when I am not on the clock and being expected to keep up the pace. Hmm. Maybe. I dunno.
I went to a barbecue last Sunday with my sister and some of her friends. It was a trip. It kind of made me realize how antisocial I was for some... maybe even a large part... of my life. I mean I have always known it, but sometimes things happen that just kind of drive it home. Here I was hanging out with people that I went to school with, and sometimes hung outwith outside of school, and I didn't even know their names, even though some had managed to find me and recognize my child by her pictures on facebook. It kind of makes me wonder if I just used my work position as an excuse for some underlying issues about making and having friends. I did make a point, however, to include myself in some of the conversations as well as the overall game playing and barbecue fun in general as opposed to just hang out by the 'cue and cook while the festivities go on around me.

Wrap up in a speech class would typically start out with the phrase “in summary.”
Things are going well. Work is going great. My family is doing awesome. Kristin is happy and healthy. Clover is as smiley as ever and even now makes noise like dadadada when I walk into the room. I am still kind of a regular flosser and have lost about 40 pounds over the last six months. I am not sure if my hair is starting to thin out or not... more on that later... it is kind of like a sailboat... sometimes it works sometimes It doesn't... I even wrote a few articles for LMC next month. Life is good.

-p

wearing pajama poncho and a colander

Most of the funny stuff I do is off the cuff... at least I think it's funny... anyway... Back in the day I worked with a guy that did stand up comedy for fun. I went to a couple of his shows. I always thought it would be hard to do stand up because I would have to pre-plan my jokes and make it entertaining and I would not have somebody to play off of unless I get an act together and so many other things... an my head just kind of explodes.
Since working with Mr. Brockett, I started to work putting a set together just as a side side project on the side. Over the last 3 years, I have put together two jokes. I think that they are pretty funny, they both could still use a little polishing though. My goal it to participate in an open mic night before the end of February. I will keep you posted. I just wanted to let you know so that when I do something and am like "that should go into the book," you could be like "That should go into your show!" And remind me that my side project on the side of projects is no longer that obscure.

My new favorite 800 calorie snack.

Ingredients:
tortilla
peanut butter
nutella
banana
Optional ingredients:
Hot Sauce.

Step 1: Spread peanut butter on one half of one side of tortilla.
Step 2: Spread nutella on other half but same side of tortilla.
If you are doing it right up to this point, it should look like this:


Step 3: Cut banana into thin slices, and spread on top of nutella.
Due to the degree of difficult for this next step, here is another illustration for caparison:


Optional Step 4: put hot sauce on top of bananas.
Step 4 or 5 depending on option: Carefully fold peanut butter side over onto banana/nutella side without making any messes or your wife will make you clean them up and you won't be very happy about it.

Step 5 or 6: Eat in style similar to that used when eating a giant soft taco or quesadilla.

We had been dating for just over a month.

“Just tell her that we are the type of family that puts the “fun” into funerals.” -my mom... on convincing my girlfriend to drive me up to my grandfather's funeral and meeting my family for the first time ever.

Maybe one day I will dedicate it. I don't know though.

I have had many people tell me over the years that I should write a book about the stuff that I do/ have done/ am doing/ think about/ life in general... I always imagined sitting down and writing a memoir or something... I didn't really realize until the last couple weeks that I have over the last couple years been able to reply that the idiot book is alive and well. I have been thinking about it over the last week or so, after posting my intention once already, I have decided that I should plan it a little better, and maybe aside from tho occasional story in my idiot book, I should write a book for myself first before I share it with the world.

So, that is the plan. I am not quite sure how it is going to happen,but it will sure enough.

-p

Her hair wasn't pink or short when we met.

in fact it was blond, and down to her belt when it was braided.

So... Last night I was telling my people at work a little bit about myself, and I thought I should write it down.

When I was dating my wife, I worked as a “road striper” (technical term... I painted the lines in parking lots) and she worked at Starbucks. That is how we met. One day she was taking my order and asked: “Would you like anything else today?”

“Why yes, how about a hot date?”

“Ummm... I don't really have any girlfriends I could hook you up with right now, maybe some other time.”

“Ummm... Okay I guess.”

Since I was regular, and I loved chances to see that really pretty barista, I was a regular at her store. After about a week of her taking my order and not making any new friends to hook me up with she explained to me:

“Look, I am not going to go out and make a friend just so I can get you a date. You are on your own with this one man.”

“Oh. Okay... Ummm, hey, I was thinking, would you mind being my hot date?”

*blushing wildly* “Sure I guess, would you like my number?”

That day was July 5^th, 2005. We went on a date that night, and have been hanging literally everyday since then. For our first date, we went to The Barbecue Pit at the intersection of Garfield and La Mesa Blvd. She was to nervous to eat much of her dinner, so I cleaned both of our plates, seeing as how I was bouncing my rent check in order to take her out. We spent a little bit of time in her car (I rode scooter at the time, and so she willingly picked me up for our date) and listened to the song that was stuck in my head during dinner, “Haunted Cat House”, by the Nekromantix. We went to the store and bought “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels” and went back to my house to watch it. We were both so tired that we fell asleep about halfway through the movie and didn't wake up until my alarm went of the next morning.

Ohh man. What a date.

Clover arm pumping a job well done.

I taught Clover how to jump on the bed yesterday. Now I can stand her on any bed and hold her hands and she starts jumping and kicking and breathing in her really excited way. It is super cute and really cracks me up.

The way I know that I taught her how to do this, and it is not just me swinging my baby around by her lil' ol' arms, is because... at night... when she is in bed... and it is her bedtime... she stands herself up and while holding the bars to her crib for support, she jumps on her bed. When I walk into the room to see what t he ruckus is, it is my little monkey jumping on the bed. I know that she knows that I taught this to her because when she sees me walk in she smiles so big that her pacifier falls out... because she is jumping and showing me what she learned.

Maybe next time I will teach her how to write cursive to keep her busy instead of how to jump on the bed.

On strange eating habits.

“I couldn't even imagine eating things from such a wide range. Banana's and hot sauce? That's way to far out there for me. I would maybe think about mixing something like bananas and grapes, but that about as crazy I could ever go.” -t.

Clover praying for me to wake up.

Another day come and gone. Today I was in a management meeting and we were talking about work... of course. Anyway, One of the guys was talking about interviews, and how one of his interviewees was explaining about how they just wanted to be able to make a difference. The point was brought up about how every day so many people come through our doors, and we have an opportunity to make each one of their days. I was almost jumping out of my seat when he was talking about this because that is pretty much the primary reason that I work in the field that I do, because I love to make people's days. I get paid to make your day. That is how I see my job. It is pretty awesome to know for a fact that the Director of Operations for my company is on the same page as I am... and not just from an email or voice recording that I should read or listen to when I find time, but the fact that he felt the need to explain how he felt in a company wide meeting. Pretty cool stuff.
Enough about work.

I love my little Clover Bear. She is just melting my heart without even trying. I know she needs to sleep. I know her sleeping pattern is the bane of my wife's existence right now. I also know that I love having the chance to see her bright little eyes, albeit very sleepy eyes, when I get home. I also know that I love to see my wifey's smiley face when I come home and Clover is sleeping like a... baby? Maybe not our baby, but more like a baby in fairy tales.
We have a minivan. We bought it about two weeks ago. I sold the old green car, and bought a minivan. Oh man. Talk about growing up. I don't even know how to explain how it feels. The day we brought it home, I was backing out of my parent's driveway, in the van, full of kids, all four of them, Kristin was sitting shotgun. My parents were standing in the driveway waving good bye, just like in the movies. I couldn't help but stop and laugh at trying to imagine what was going through their heads... was it like a dream come true for them, Pete has finally grown up enough to not only warrant, but actually utilize a minivan? I know for a fact there was no way they could have been holding their breath waiting for it to happen. But I couldn't help but imagine what must have been going through their heads. Maybe I will ask next time I see them.

I really felt like this little conversation belongs in the book... a little bit of background... it is salsa season. Both the tomatoes and the peppers in my parents garden are ripening. My wife has gone over and made and canned salsa with my mom a couple of times now. One day about a week or so ago, I got a text from work asking me to stop and get chips and salsa on the way to work. I brought some of the fresh salsa and chips. The whole quart jar was devoured in less than 5 minutes, and one of the people actually asked me to call my wife and tell her that it was the best salsa that they had ever had, bar the stuff that they made with their husband, but that was purely for sentimental reasons... based on flavor, the stuff I brought was number one. The next day I came in with my lunch packed, and everyone was enjoying a Friday breakfast, and before the door even shut, someone asked if I brought more salsa. I took out the stuff that my wife packed in my lunch and put it on a table. The scene after that reminded me of puppies looking for a spot to nurse. Sooooo, I asked my wifey to make a bunch of pints next time she was canning so that I could bring them to work and give them away.
I did that today. All the jars were claimed promptly.
One of my guys took his jar to the back and opened it and started drinking it from the jar. Yes, drinking it right from the jar.
-“Hey guy, do you need some chips or something?”
-“No, the thing I like about your wife's salsa is that you can drink it down and it don't burn or nothin'.”
-“Holy crap dude. I gotta write that down.”
-“What? To bring more salsa tomorrow?”
I had to walk away because he was dead serious. I couldn't handle it. I love this guy. He is just too funny without even trying. Ohhh man.

I am wear my poncho for my pajamas.

Tuesday Morning. I have really come to enjoy Tuesdays more now than ever. With my job, it is my other day off. Yeah, I have fixed schedule. Ohhh man it is so cool. It is the first time in about 10 years that I have had a job that allows me to plan around my days off more than a week or two in advance. I have always liked Tuesdays though. It has been my experience in the service industry that Tuesday nights are consistently the slowest nights of the week, and the day time is kind of the same... just slower than any other day. I have never understood why, however I have many times used this insider information to my advantage. I like not having to fight with people when shopping or going to the movies or eating out. I also like the way places like On The Boardwalk have double token nights on Tuesdays. What does that mean? $5 will get you $10 worth of “Time Crisis 4.” Yeah I know! Awesome, huh? However, the reason I seem to like Tuesdays more than ever before is because now I get to hang out all morning and day before I decide to hit the town... I guess IF I decide to hit the town and Clover and Kristin are agreeable with the idea. Yep, Tuesday has long since been my favorite Friday, but now it is like my favorite Friday and Saturday all mixed into one. Now if only I could convince it to get twice as long too. I look forward to today as being a wonderful opportunity to get a few thing on my to do list done as well as spend some quality time with my wife and her charges during the day. It has kind of been a treat to see her dive in to work at her job the way I do at mine. During the day she juggles 3-4 kids depending on the day. On top of here Penelope and Clover gig, she gets to hang out with Kelton when he gets home from school, as well as watch our little cousin Mason a few days a week. It amazes me the way she can just handle it. I don't know if they all feel the same way as I do about Tuesday, but I don't care, I look forward to Tuesday, and seeing all their happy little faces and everything.

Hooray for Tuesday, the most underrated day of the week... in my opinion... I even forgot to mention about how shows its diversity by filling in for Monday today too.

Happy Tuesday.

Taking my life back.

From what? I'm not sure yet.. Perhaps when I stop relinquishing control, I will find out.
I feel like I have been disconnected for quite while, living in the space between work and sleep, finding those precious moments in between when I get to see my precious family. I have been escaping reality through books, and not really spending my time doing things that I value highly. I am tired of mentioning that I have a blog, but haven't posted on it since I can't remember when. I am tired of feeling out of touch. I am tired of thinking about stuff that I should post but never do.
It has been a pretty busy couple... few... many months. I have been working plenty and am fitting in really well at Zupas. I really enjoy working for this company, and cannot wait to see what the future holds.
Clover bear is growing right up. I love her guts, and treasure the time that I get to hang out with her. I never get tired of seeing her smiley little face.
Anyway, glad I'm back, hope to stay.
-p

Clover eating avocado for the first time.

So it has been a pretty productive couple of weeks. I have been working a lot. I turned 28 for the first time ever. Yeah, 28 years old. It is kind of a trip for me to think that at age 16 my only long term goal was to live to turn 18... not because I wanted to 18 and free, but because I was on such a self destructive and apathetic path that I figured it would be a good long term goal. Kind of a trip.

I got a new desktop computer, and reinstalled windows on my old laptop. It is kind of nice to be able to type and surf the web and do everything that I used to couldn't do.

Clover is growing right up. Last checkup she weighed 13.4 pounds. I forgot how tall she was. Taller that she was when she was born that's for sure. She is growing to be one the cutest little things that I have ever seen. I found out that she likes strawberry jam and does not like avocados. She likes her rhinoceros blanket.

It is time for bed. We are happy and healthy and missing all of our friends who are not near us right now.

-p

I kind of wish i knew a little more about html.

I know it is because I copied and pasted from another website. I just don't know how to fix it. :P
-p

May 1st reposted from my members website

typos

Posted: May 1st, 2010 | Author: snotnose | Filed under: Uncategorized | Modify: Edit This | No Comments »

I just re read the last post for the first time and would like to say wow. i was a little more tired than i thought i was.
-p

This post was submitted by snotnose.

---

my google blogger account isnt working. lame.

Posted: May 1st, 2010 | Author: snotnose | Filed under: Uncategorized | Modify: Edit This | 1 Comment »

I have been thinking about putting something up for pretty much every day for at least the last month. Here it is. Not necessarily the culmination of my thoughts every day, but the bits and pieces that I remember.
On the drive home form work today, I was thinking about my position. Manager. Hmmm. I started my “on paper” work history as a fry-cook at a local burger joint in high school. Since then the longest I have been without a job was while I was while I attended West Ridge Academy from April 2000 to October 2000. Aside from that, the longest I have been without a job was the first two weeks of my move to Las Vegas. I was thinking on my way home form work tonight about how I have never started out at a company as a manager before. I have always stared in square one. I was thinking about how I feel like I am good at my job… I guess I should be after over 8 years in the industry, 6 of which has been spent in a supervisory role. I was thinking about the gentleman whose place I filled… I was thinking about my new boss, and my new store, and all of the people who work underneath within the reach of umbrella. I was thinking about how I feel like I have had many mentors who have helped me be successful in my position. There are a few who really stick out in my mind… I am saying thank you so very much, Albert, Christina, Josh, Dave, Tina, and Serena, for not only teaching me both directly and through example, how I can become a great person to work for. I am thankful, not only because you have taught me, but also because you gave me a chance to learn, and succeed. Thank you. It is my sincere desire that those who work with me can one day look back on their experience with me the same way I look back on my experience with each of you, with respect and gratitude. I think I should also say thanks to a few other people… Although you have names, I am not going to mention them. I will just say that the list could go on for what feels like forever… but anyway, thanks for giving such a good pool of mistakes to learn from. Although I may have not enjoyed working for you, I do feel like I have learned priceless lessons at your expense and for that I thank you. It is my sincere desire that nobody ever feels the same way about me as I feel about each of you. That is what I was thinking in the car on my way home.
I am happy to be working where I am. Last week I was asked if I would be okay just staying at the store I trained at. I said “Heck yes its okay, are you kidding me?” So officially as of… today… I am the assistant GM at Café Zupas South Jordan. Yep, today was my first day as the only AGM? in my store. Neat. I enjoy my job. It has been an exhausting few months, but I finally think that I am settling into my groove, and doing well. ‘nuff about work.
Clover is growing like crazy. She is seriously the cutest little peanut I have ever seen in my life. She smiles with her whole face just like her dad, but she has her mom’s chin and cheeks. I also think that she may have eyes like her mom, but there are some who believe that they have not finished changing yet. She likes her rhinoceros blanket. Sometimes she fights with her cousin Penelope over her stuffed piglet when her rhino blanket is not in sight. It is kind of cute, because they both usually end up slobbering over opposite ends and talking about stuff… I can’t understand what they are saying, but I feel like they know. Clover is just so precious though. She likes to hang out with Kristin and I, as well as with her Grandma and Grandpa Breinholt. She likes standing up more than sitting down, and sometimes all you have to do to turn a very fussy baby into a smiling little jellybean, is hold her by her hands so she can just smile and drool all over whatever is within reach. She likes to play peek-a-boo, and her favorite songs are still “Prison Bound,” “Reach for the Sky,” and “Folsom Prison.” I think that she may be left handed. I think that her favorite colors are green and blue. She likes going for walks, and riding in the car. I am not sure if she likes jelly beans or not, you would have to ask Grandpa Breinholt about that. The other day when mom wasn’t around I let Clover sit on the motorcycle for a minute. I think she was pretty excited about it. I love her.
I celebrated my four year wedding anniversary last week. My wife and I went and put about a thousand rounds through the new handguns she had bought me the week prior. It has been a very interesting last four years to say the least. I love my wife, and look forward to spending many more years being married to each other. I think we make a pretty good couple. I also think that she is awesome, and like hanging out with her.
Like I said, my wife bought me a pair of handguns. It was a set of Walther handguns. One is a P22, and the other is a PK380. They are rad. While I was waiting for the lady to call in my background check, I was having flashbacks to the day when Ben got arrested on Christmas Eve for trying to buy a handgun to give me for Christmas, because I was not old enough to buy one by myself yet. But things have changed since then, and I have a clean record, and… yep… good stuff.
It seems like every time I charge my motorcycle battery, and get ready to ride it snows. I don’t know what is going on. I don’t know if I am just not supposed to ride it right now… as in some higher power is keeping it from happening… or what. I do know that I can’t wait to go for a ride, and that is probably the one big thing that I am not a fan of as far as differences between Salt Lake and San Diego.
I have not met up with anybody that I planned on seeing when I moved up. That has been kind of weird. I mean, I saw Ben for a second when he stopped by my old job, but we have not hung out yet. I didn’t even call him on his birthday. I feel kind of like jerky friend… I just have not really wanted to anything on my days off. Maybe I will start calling people and making plans. Yeah. I think that that is a good idea.
The reason the LMC article was so short this week is because I didn’t write one. For some reason I thought that next Tuesday was still an April Tuesday. Sorry. It’s my fault. G love is good stuff though.
That’s about it for now. It’s like 1 o’clock, and I am ready for bed.
-p

This post was submitted by snotnose.

oh neat! maybe it was my computer!

i have logged onto blogger today for the first time since last time. not because i havent wanted to, but because my old cpu had a virus that wouldnt let me do some funny things. anyway, back up and running. sah weet. i will expound on everything later. after work. it is tikme for me to go.
I just wanted to say hi.
-p

I wish it was motorcycle season.

When I lived in Las Vegas with my cousin Kimball, we had a good time. We hung out pretty much all the time. I actually listed his phone number on work applications because I did not have a phone of my own. One my favorite things about hanging out was the recording studio he had set up in his bedroom, and the countless number of hours we spent speaking, singing, and occasionally yelling… well mostly I did the yelling, but he endorsed it. Anyway, I wrote a lot during that period in my life. It was nice really nice to be able to have an outlet. I have since then pretty much stopped. My notebook was taken hostage in Las Vegas, and I never paid the ransom. As a result, some of what are in my mind my most genius scribblings, have been lost. I never really recovered from that. I used to write occasionally… my wife has bought me a couple of notebooks over the last years, and I have only managed to fill about 3 pages... mostly laments about how I wish I could think of something worth writing down.

I started the idiotbook. This has been the extent of my creations. Occasionally I get a little bummed because I feel like I have lost the ability to express some of my ideas in any fashion besides yelling and banging stuff at work or writing as done in the book over the past… 2 going on 3 years… wow.

Anyway… the other night I was at John’s house and he played some stuff he had been working on. I got pumped. We talked a little bit about what he has been and about working together and all sorts of stuff. I was so pumped about it that I dreamt about it last night.

In my dream I was driving home from work, workshopping in the car, and had a simple but sweet line come into my mind. I was so pumped that I pulled over and looked for my book in my bag in order to write it down, but realized that I had been late for work, and left my bag at home. I went home and went into my new (we just moved to Salt Lake and it still feels kind of new) room. I grabbed my bag and dumped it out on my floor so I could get to my book and write the line down and work with it… it was nothing more than a hook as it was, but I liked it and wasn’t about to lose it. My book wasn’t in my bag… *okay, work with me here… I am giving you directions*: Hold your hands out kind of like you are about to juggle… arms to your side, elbows about ninety degrees, palms up, fingers spaced, and relaxed. Now look straight up at the ceiling, yell “ARGGGGGHHHH!!!! WHY IS IT NOT HERE!!!” and slowly ball your hands into fists while pulling them closer to your body and tensing up every muscle you can until you begin to shake. That is how upset I was in my dream. I did this exercise with the intention of aiding your ability to empathize with the utter frustration I experienced in my dream at this point. Moving on, I remembered after this moment of fury that my book was still packed in a box because of the move, and because I had not been writing very frequently. I started tearing through boxes, and could only find index note cards and napkins and nothing to write with. After completely turning my room upside down, and mumbling the line to myself the whole time so I wouldn’t forget, I jotted it semi-legibly on a napkin with a dry erase marker from my calendar… I couldn’t find any pens either. I then woke up, remembered the line, looked my nightstand, and saw my book where my loving wife had placed it. *side note *Even though I have not written in years, my wife still puts my book on my nightstand, just in case one day I may feel like writing again. I have always just left it there, having noted in my mind that that is the place it goes. Occasionally it gets knocked off or moved, one time I put it in a backpack. It found its way back to the nightstand, not by my hands. I love my wife. *end note* There was a pen in the desk, and I wrote it down and was able to add a bit more to it in the same sitting. Awesome.

Long story short, I wrote today. I am pumped. I know this may be a little strange for the first post in way too many days, but I don’t care. I wrote today… twice now I guess… and I am happy about it.

-p