I have been putting this off for way to long. I feel like although I have been semi current on facebook, I should do a little better with my real status updates. I decided that I was going to put something meaningful up tonight no matter what, and I came home and saw my little sister's post and that added to john's work lately only strengthened my resolve.
Funny thing about that, the whole if they can do it, I can do it thing. Yesterday they closed down the 94 freeway because there was a jumper. I think there was one about a week ago too, on the same stretch of freeway. That was the topic of conversation this morning, not the jumper per se, but the idea that it happens in spurts, like this post. Anyway, long story short, I am not jumping, just posting. Okay maybe it’s not funny. Whatever.
One of the reasons that I have been a little quiet is for some of the same reasons as my sister, I feel like a giant well of negativity, and I do not want to share it with the world. I feel like that was something that I did enough as a kid. But that’s just it. I do feel like I need to blow off a little steam. Let’s just start at the top.
I hate keeping secrets. I am not very good with long term deception. I mean I am good for joke or prank or even for adding a few flourishes to a story or whatever, but a serious deceptive lifestyle, I am not okay with. I wish I could just tell the world. *sigh*
I am sick of working for Starbucks. I refuse to sell stupid VIA. I feel that it is wrong to try and use our troops at war to push sales. If I wanted to be asking people to make donations, I would be working for a charity of some sort. One of the things that I most enjoyed about working for this company in the past is how their outstanding goal was to “Enrich our customer’s daily lives in 3 minutes or less.” I feel like the focus has now been changed to something like “Lets see how much money we can manage to get our customers to spend at our store everyday, five times a day if possible, and going so far as to push sales by asking them to buy coffee and donate it to the troops, because they, “the troops,” may really want to drink Starbucks coffee as opposed to the coffee they have available in the Middle East.” Stupid. I must say, that to my DM’s credit, in response to the overall change in attitude has asked us to actively stop pushing VIA. I really appreciate his action, but… If I were to punch you in the face and then say “just kidding” to try and make it all better, it would still hurt. I am not opposed to doing things to help our soldiers. I appreciate the outstanding response I see from concerned and caring people everyday. I just feel that using patriotism to for monetary gain is a horrible thing to do.
Wow. I am already feeling better. In fact, guess what! I am going to be a dad. In December my precious little wifey is going to have our first little baby. Wow. This is gonna be awesome. I kind of feel like I am not going to know what to do, but I also feel like I have the tools to take care of business. I am still a little nervous about finding a job that will take care of the financial strain that another member of my family will add, however I am confident that I am able to do what is necessary.
I have really felt like making a smoker lately. I don’t know why, but I can’t get the idea out of my head. I think that maybe some time over the next couple weeks I will try and cold smoke some things like cheese or different types of vegetables, just because I can do this on my gas barbecue. I don’t know where this craving has come from, but I can’t wait to exercise it.
I like to play the guitar. I think that I am going to have to start practicing soon. Maybe I will play while I smoke the cheese.
Phew. This has taken a while. I think that I have conquered this block for now. I guess that is just something that only time will tell. I have noticed though, that as December draws closer it is easier to imagine happy days again.
-p
