Wow, what a week…end. I went to our birthing class over the weekend. It was intense. I found out that there is a little more to having a baby than I realized. It also kind of drilled it home that this is happening. I am going to be a dad. Hmmm.
There have been little things that have happened over the last nine months that have kind of like put another little brick on the load of realization, but no one thing has put so many bricks on as the class did, aside from I think the first ultrasound where I could see the actual shape of the baby. I seriously had to fight back the tears like every 10 minutes or so during the class just because I was imagining spending time with the little peanut growing in my wifey’s tummy.
Am I ready? I don’t know, I really hope so. I think that although I may not be able to plan for what is going to happen exactly, but I have a good idea about the gist of it… and have the ability to do my best, I guess I just worry that my best may not be enough. (my favorite poster about this subject) You know? I have never been so sincerely sure and unsure at the same time about the same thing.
I do know that I have many powerful tools, abilities, and resources at my disposal, and that makes me feel a little better about things.
In home-ec? class in high school, I failed the “bring the baby home for a weekend and turn the key when it cries” assignment. I am not sure if I “killed” the baby 7 times, or just had CPS potentially called on me 7 times. I do know that I tried hard, but never woke up when it cried, or turned the key to hard or something. I don’t know. I failed. That’s all.
I know that I have grown quite a bit since then, and that the assignment may not be relevant given my current frame of mind and all other things considered, especially the fact that I won’t be doing it myself. *sigh*
I am so excited to be married to my wife and having a kid. That is the bottom line. I am so pumped that the fear or nerves or whatever seems almost trivial, I guess I just feel like I need to acknowledge it because it is there. But I am pumped.
-p
3 comments:
Cool post, man. PS, I enjoyed the "brick" references.
You will be awesome, just the fact that you acknowledge you have no clue, is the first step of humility of being a parent. Nothing a few spit ups and slobbers and pooped on hands won't fix. And don't worry, my hubby never woke up until baby #5 in the middle of the night. But i have all the kids trained to go to his side of the bed during the night to ask for anything, so he gets to get up for the rest of his life in the middle of the night. Sweet post! You will be a awesome!
Yah, bring that baby into MY world!
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